Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
