let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
