I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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