"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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