Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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