I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
