I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
