Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
