all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
