so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I have post one night stand depression
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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