we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I use my feet as sexual weapons
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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