Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
where are my pants?
in the oven.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
