Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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