Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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