i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Randomize
