There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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