at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
