the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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