We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
