She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
