absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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