So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Operation Purity has been aborted
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
