well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize
