Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
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