so that wasnt chicken after all
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
