sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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