Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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