im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
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