I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
