I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
