I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
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