What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Randomize
