I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
