So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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