she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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