Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
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