I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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