community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
