i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Randomize
