i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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