Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
