I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Randomize
