i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I need to wash the frat house off of me
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
