Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
