put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
