Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Randomize
