Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Randomize
