I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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