and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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