Having a random hookup so left but love u
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Randomize
