jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
