anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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