I hate all girls vehemently.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
