Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
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